Growing up there was never a question in my mind that I was FAT. Every time I looked in a mirror all I saw was gross globs of fat and it totally disgusted me! By the time I was in 8th grade I weighed over 200 pounds. Going to school was a nightmare because I was always the center of attention and ridiculed constantly from all of the other kids and even teachers. It was so bad sometimes that I cried for hours before I would have to go to school but my mother had no sympathy for me and she made me go to school every day. I never accepted myself the way I was so my self-esteem and self-acceptance were virtually gone. Over the years, my body and life took a toll on me and at some point the sadness turned to depression. 

As far back as I can remember I felt and looked horrible. My world consisted of eating high sugar, fattening junk food and EATING was the most pleasurable workout for me. I think I came out of the womb eating Bon Bons and screaming for my next meal! Food was my fix, it was my addiction, and at a very early age I learned if I cried I would be fed. I learned if I was sad, depressed or having any uncomfortable feeling food would make it all go away for the moment. If I had a bad day food would give me a high like nothing else could. 

Food was readily available and I knew how to get it when I needed a fix. Yes, I was a food junkie back then and still consider myself a food addict today even though over 20 years ago I lost 130 pounds and have kept it off since then.  I always knew that I was one thought away from the next binge but I vowed to myself that I would never go back to the old me and so far I have kept that promise. 

Today, food is fuel for my body. I appreciate how energized and strong I feel when I am eating for performance and not shoveling whatever in my face to push down an emotion that I could not deal with. 

I grew up using food for every physical, emotional and mental issue and never learned or realized how emotionally dependent I was for that next fix to get me through the horrible childhood I had to relive so many times in my head. I never learned that I had the POWER to deal with it until I had to be hospitalized for a mental breakdown at age 35. Years of therapy followed to help me to cope and understand how my life was unraveling.  

As a young girl and teen it never dawned on me, nor did anyone tell me, that I was killing myself and that my health was at stake. All I knew was that FOOD could and would get rid of any emotional pain that surfaced. Back then I had many feelings that I never knew how to deal with. I never had a voice as most fat people feel they do not have, We were silenced because if we spoke out it would always be associated with our weight and there is not an overweight person I know who wants to have their weight the center of any conversation.  

Today, after 25 years of medication, therapy, praying and the will to live my life is totally changed. I thank God for giving me the courage to swim upstream.  My life was worth every tear that I shed so many years ago!

Trigger: Blogs

My dog Hannah went to heaven on July 4, 2011 and the pain I feel is so great. I have been waking up daily in tears knowing that I would not have to take her out for her potty and worry about water and food for her no more. No more trips to get her favorite ice cream, hamburgers and other goodies that she loved that I gave to her as her treat time. No more toys or balls for her to play with, no more vet visits or doggie day care or going to her favorite place to see her friends, the doggie park near our house.

For over 9 years Hannah was hanging out at the tennis courts with me and she knew what she was suppose to do…have a good time while I played tennis. Yes, my world is now shattered by what was supposed to be a long life of at least 14 years, but she was taken from me at 9 years old. No longer will I need to get up extra early to get her to the park for her morning potty. No more morning trips with me to get my coffee and then off to see clients. Hannah and I were a team from the go.

I wanted this Angel from the day she was born on April 2, 2002, as she came into my life when my world was crushed. Back then I was one month away from the perfect life that I thought was to be with a husband, suburban life and white picket fence. That all came crashing down in September 2001. The man I was suppose to marry had a secret and for some reason he could not come out of the closet and I got caught in the middle of it all. Hannah was there to pick up the pieces for me.

Hannah knew how to comfort me as she was the comfort I could not find in other people. Hannah and I had great communication as we both understood each other. She was the love of my life that did not ask me for words or explanations. She was there by my side day after day when the depression and sadness overpowered me. She was there when I thought I would not make it. She brought me the strength, peace and serenity that I never thought I could or would find again. The more she was with me the more I loved her as her sweet and loving personality soon became part of my life. She brought me joy, happiness and a friendship that I never had with any creature before. She was there to lick the tears that I cried night after night many years ago from a relationship that would never be. She was there with me as I made many personal as well as professional decisions about my career and life. She was with me almost 24/7 as she came to work with me and was rarely alone and we both loved it that way.

Hannah was never a burden but always a joy to be with. She was happy, funny and adapted to any situation I put her in. She never asked for much as her love was unconditional. We both knew that just being together was the best. She was my loyal girl who I loved more than anything. She stood by my side day after day and never wavered as to how our relationship would go, for good or bad, as we thought it would never end. She was my trusted loyal companion and our relationship was solid and no one could ever come between us.

It never dawned on me that Hannah would get sick at such a young age. She was my workout buddy. We ran miles weekly and she was so athletic. I kept her lean as I wanted her to be healthy and fit. The day that she got sick, which accumulated over time unknowingly to me, shattered my life. My precious girl was in turmoil and there was nothing medically I was able to do for her. After all of these years of her taking care of me I was helpless and could not help and no amount of money, love or friendship was eventually going to keep her alive. My world for this helpless girl was turned upside down.

When the doctor told me that she had a FATAL LUNG DISEASE it was hearing demons tell me that they would take her soul. It took me days to realize that my baby girl was dying and it took me longer to brace myself for what was to be. As the end came upon us I could see that she was getting more tired and her life was slowly turning for the worse. I knew it was just a matter of days and possibly hours before I knew her life would come to an end. Hannah was preparing me and we both knew it. We were both tired and I could see that she was beginning to separate herself from me as she knew it was time. I woke up on July 4th and I knew it was the day. She was lethargic and she had no life about her. No more running, playing with the ball, lying by my side, being there, she was ready to go and I knew it was time. I prayed and asked God to give both Hannah and I strength for her journey to another life away from me physically and I began to feel peaceful about what was to be. It was time for her to go away and wait for me so that one day we would be reunited again.

Hannah never complained about anything like humans do all of the time. She was a trooper and even in the face of death she did not cry, whimper or not want to please me. Her strength is the lesson we all need to learn. I remember many years ago when a pastor’s wife was preaching on death and she talked about we would be reunited some day with those who passed on and with our pets and I truly believe she was right. While Hannah is not here with me physically, I know that my Hannah’s spirit lives on with me and always will but that now she is free of sickness and well and is playing with the puppies in heaven until we are re-united again. The love and special place in my heart for MY Hannah is so real and she brought me more joy than I could have ever deserved! Hannah, mommy loves you!

Debra

Trigger: Blogs

It took me a long time to feel fabulous.

As a very young girl I was chubby and miserable. Other kids constantly made fun of me and that made me feel horrible all of the time.

In my teens, things got worse as my weight began to escalate and my life took a turn for the worse, with depression and a sense of hopelessness.

By the time I was sixteen I wasn’t very sweet, tipping the scales at a whopping 300 pounds. To cope with this depression and anxiety, I stuffed all my feelings down with pizza and pasta. But somehow I guess there was that part of me that wanted to live, get healthy and change my life.

Around age 25, I experienced a “spiritual awakening” that led me down the road to recovery. I found the courage and determination to change my life, and to become the fit and fabulous woman that I am today. I started to make small changes beginning with exercise and I guess you could say the rest is history, however there were so many times that I wanted to give up. It was a fierce struggle to resist giving up and reverting to old self-defeating habits. However, through soul-searching, determination and self-motivation, I persisted and kept my eyes on the goal of getting fit and healthy.

Exercise and learning how to eat correctly helped me to begin this journey; however my mind was my biggest weapon in my fight to conquer “morbid obesity”. I taught myself some mental skills including meditation, positive imagery and self-talk. I tested myself over and over again. Two steps forward, one step back.

As I began to feel better, the struggle within me eased. I went from a size 24 down to a size 12. Boy, do those low rise jeans feel great! I studied nutrition and adopted a healthy diet. Exercise was tough at first, but I stayed committed, as I was determined to realize my dream to change my life for the better.

Once a working-class waitress from South Philadelphia I decided to go to college in my 30’s. I received a Bachelor’s degree and then a Master’s degree in Sport/Exercise Physiology from Temple University. Boy was I proud!

I look back with sadness at the young, depressed, abused girl who stayed home and ate all day. With the help of great professionals, I mustered the courage to confront my past and all of these years later I look and feel better than ever. You could say I have driven away the demons of my past and moved on.

Today I am a Motivational Speaker and the CEO OF SHAPELYGIRL FITNESS; a company dedicated to plus size women. I am truly living my life passionately. I advise, motivate and train women of all shapes and sizes and I love it! When I inspire my clients to go beyond their limits and take the chance to change, I am rewarded tenfold.  I see myself reflected in each of my clients. I want all women to understand that a healthy lifestyle will make them more vibrant, enrich their self esteem and rid them of their distorted body images.  I assure them that they do not have to be a size 2 to feel great about themselves.

I created the SHAPELYGIRL FITNESS WORKOUT to not only teach large, plus size and shapely women how to get fit but they also learn how to embrace themselves wherever they are in life’s journey…always searching to get better. My students are all different shapes and sizes but I want them to know how important their lives are to me but more importantly to themselves. I encourage al of them to take one day at a time and be patient with themselves. I want them incorporate good eating habits also, but more importantly when they fall or feel discouraged to start all over again. While they become stronger and fitter, we all have a blast. 

I look and feel better today than ever before. Now I know how to take terrific care of myself physically, mentally, socially and spiritually. My world is a wonderful place with friends and family whom I love dearly and who send it back to me in spades. This is what feeling fabulous means to me.

Trigger: Blogs

Spring is here and this is the time of the year when shorts, t-shirts and bathing suits come out of the closet. Time to shed the winter clothes and for some those pounds that may have been put on lying on the couch eating bon-bons the past few months.

For those who are going to try to get in shape in a weekend, forget it. Fitness does not happen overnight and it takes time for your body to adjust to the training. You want to ease into a new fitness program so that your body will work with you. Here’s some suggestions to ease into a fitness program:

~ To strengthen your heart you need to get some cardio in. Begin walking at a nice brisk pace for about a mile. As time passes add time, intensity or duration. To lose weight you want to walk longer. The longer you do cardio the more fat you will burn. Eventually add a slow jog.
~ For strength training, start with 2-3 pound weights, hitting all of the major muscles groups. You can use the weights while walking and get a full body workout in an hour or so. You will feel so much better.

Remember, if you over-train your body will let you know and while feeling sore is fine, pain is not! Get out there and begin to move your body and eat for your health!

Hugs,
Debra

Trigger: Blogs

I met Lisa L. about a year ago and she told me that over the years she had put on weight and that she needed, as well as wanted, to take the weight off. She joined the ShapelyGirl Fitness Center and quickly joined the HEALTHY WEIGHT LOSS SUPPORT GROUP that I run every Tuesday.

I knew Lisa’s weight loss would be a challenge for the both of us because Lisa is built pretty solid and she is very small in height, standing about 5 feet tall.

Lisa is married and a mother of 2 who works full-time and has 2 granddaughters who live with her. Anyone who lives with kids understands the challenge of not only helping them to eat healthy but keeping the junk food out of the house which I assume is probably impossible to do.

Lisa originally told me that her biggest eating issue was ‘NIGHTTIME EATING’. She would get settled in for the night and then hit the cabinets and fridge to satisfy this behavior that is part of her history as well as millions of other people, so I am sure most can certainly identify with this problem. This behavior is similar to going to a movie. Most are so used to going right to the counter to buy popcorn and candy and soda without even thinking they can bypass it and just watch the movie. You can deal with this if you pack some healthy snacks with you.

For weeks Lisa worked out and came to my class on Tuesday nights faithfully and for weeks no inches or weight loss were realized, all while she told me how she had changed the way she ate and really worked on eating healthy. Week after week she was DETERMINED to fight, and fight she did. She even hired me as her personal trainer and together we went to battle and I told her weekly it will come off when your body is ready to release and let go of that weight.

She was working toward her goal of seeing her daughter get married in April and go to her grade school reunion at the end of March looking and feeling better. She focused on this and never waived her commitment. She never missed a session and she walked through that storm for weeks and months. I kept telling her it will happen. Well, as of this writing I am so happy to say it has! As of March 23 Lisa has lost 11 pounds but more importantly she is down 14 inches. She looks more alive and energetic, her body is looking amazing and she is ecstatic! Her skin evens looks better. I am so happy for her and it has come at the right time. Her reunion is tomorrow and she is going to get her groove on. I mean tan, nails, toes, heels.

Lisa’s journey is like most women’s journeys who need to lose weight, the only difference is that while some give up my client, member and friend never gave up on herself and it has paid off big time for her! Lisa…have the best time of your life, you deserve it! I am so proud of her tenacity and her drive and I hope it does the same for you!

Trigger: Blogs

Last night after teaching my step/toning class I realized that I had not eaten enough food for the day and I was starving. I had so much to do the day before and like a lot of women did not take the time to eat and ignored the fact that I was hungry. By late afternoon, I realized I needed to eat but it was too late as I had a class to teach and did not want to take the chance that I might get sick or weighed down with a full stomach as I rarely eat at least 1 hour before my classes.

By 7:30pm I was famished and decided to GRAB something on the way home. Even for me that could be a big problem. When I have not taken the time to eat properly, driving past pizza parlors, convenience stores and fast-food take-out can be dangerous. As I passed by McDonald’s I remembered seeing the commercials and ads for the ANGUS BURGER that was on their menu. I thought about it and decided I wanted an Angus burger and the convenience of buying it was right in front of me. Now the question became what would I get with it? I knew that if I did not think about the calories, fat and salt content I could really be in trouble. Mentally, I knew that most FAST FOODS places were loaded with calories, fat and salt but I was so hungry that emotionally I really did not care at that moment so I pulled into the parking area and at that moment I told myself to think about my choice before it was too late.

As I waited in the drive-through line something went off in my head and when the girl asked me what I wanted I said “I will have 2 plain burgers for Hannah, my seven year old yellow lab, and one Angus burger with the works for me.” Then as they usually do she said ANYTHING ELSE? You know they say that for a reason…because you might order more. I said to her that is all but to myself I said, I REALLY WANTED FRIES AND A MILKSHAKE to go with my burger.

I pulled up and took my order and as I drove home to eat I told myself that I listened to what I teach and practiced MINDFUL EATING. If you are not sure what mindful eating is, it is taking the time to THINK about the choices you make when ordering out or cooking at home or even food shopping. It allows you the time to really realize you can eat better and not feel so guilty or horrible after perhaps eating too many calories but not making good choices.

Do I practice MINDFUL EATING all of the time? I wish I could say YES but alas I do not. I do have my “eat whatever” moments but thankfully they are rare. However, I have practiced it enough in my journey to remain a size 12 for nearly 25 years!

Mindful eating is a great tool to learn when you are losing weight. It allows YOU to take control of your life and choices. Next time, think before you order…you will be saving hundreds of calories while keeping yourself sane.

Hugs,
Debra

Trigger: Blogs

A few years ago researchers at the University of Minnesota released a report backing up what many parents of overweight kids already know: Nagging, lecturing and threatening don’t work. Teenagers in the study who were told to go on diets were more likely to remain overweight than those who were not. In an effort to address the soaring numbers of obese kids, many schools have started sending home weight evaluations on children so there is more demand for parents to address this issue.

The study followed hundreds of adolescents for about 5 years. Even with similar eating patterns the kids whose parents pressured them to be on diets were much more likely to have increasing weight and eating disorder problems when compared to kids whose parents didn’t really know they were overweight and took no action.

So if coercion is counterproductive then what does work? Being a healthy role model for your children. Have healthy food available, eat at the family table on a regular basis and establish exercise as an activity the family enjoys together. That means less talking and more setting an example of the kind of healthy habits you want your children to take into adulthood.

1. STAY ACTIVE
THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT; EXERCISE HAS TREMENDOUS PHYSICAL BENEFITS, LIKE LOWERING BLOOD PRESSURE AND CHOLESTEROL AND DECREASING YOUR RISK OF DIABETES. EXERCISE IS ESSENTIAL TO ANY WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT IT’S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP WEIGHT OFF WITHOUT WORKING OUT AT LEAST 3-4 TIMES A WEEK. MAKE IT FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. GET YOUR SNEAKERS ON AND GET MOVING.

2. PRACTICE HEALTH SKILLS
PEOPLE THINK THAT ALL YOU NEED IS WILLPOWER TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT. I HAVE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS IT TAKES MUCH MORE THAN THE ABILITY TO SAY “NO”. IT TAKES KNOWLEDGE OF NUTRITION, TRIAL AND ERROR, PRACTICE AND EXPERIENCE. THIS IS HOW ONE CAN LEARN TO MODEL THE SECRETS FOR LONG TERM GOOD HEALTH.

3. KEEP A JOURNAL
FOR YEARS I KEPT A FOOD AND TRAINING JOURNAL AND STILL REFER BACK TO THEM TO SEE HOW FAR ALONG I HAVE COME. THIS WILL BE YOUR FIRST STEP IN MAKING LASTING BEHAVIORAL CHANGES. THE PRACTICE OF WRITING WILL HELP YOU LOOK AT YOUR PATTERNS WHILE GAUGING SUCCESS.

4. MAKE GRADUAL CHANGES
CHANGES WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR THEM. MAKE THE PROCESS A SLOW AND COMFORTABLE ONE THAT YOU CAN CARRY WITH YOU EVERY DAY. CONGRATULATE YOURSELF FOR THE BABY STEPS YOU TAKE. IT WILL BE EASIER TO MAKE THE CHANGES PERMANENT IF YOU REALLY TAKE YOUR TIME.

5. SEE THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION
PEOPLE ASK ME ALL THE TIME HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO LOSE 140 POUNDS AND GET HEALTHY. I TELL THEM I AM STILL WORKING ON IT AFTER 25 YEARS. IT HAS TAKEN TIME TO GET BETTER AND IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE. I DID NOT WAKE UP ONE DAY AND FIND A MAGIC BULLET. REALIZE THAT EVERY DAY YOU HAVE TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN AND NEVER PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD ESPECIALLY WHERE YOUR WEIGHT IS CONCERNED. GET BETTER EVERY DAY AND ENJOY WHAT LIFE BRINGS YOU ON THIS JOURNEY.

Hugs,
Debra

Trigger: Blogs