Almost every weekend when I am home and the weather is nice I take Hannah, my 5-year-old yellow Lab, out for a long power walk or run for about 4-5 miles. This is my time alone with myself and the universe. I can breathe, think and shut the phone off for a couple of hours. This not only gets my day started but allows me to focus on what I did that week and what needs to get done for the coming week.

I’ve found myself really thinking about the past recently. I have been going back many years to when I was in my 20’s and reflecting how different my life was back then. I thought of the many years I went through my life DEPRESSED, UNINSPIRED, SAD AND UNHAPPY. I remember as I am writing this that my life felt like it was slowly going down the tubes. I would sit on the couch day after day and tell myself I HAD TO CHANGE, I NEEDED TO CHANGE, I WANTED TO CHANGE. And if I didn’t, I might die. I remember feeling so unworthy, undisciplined and unloved. Those are words that I am sure a lot of women can identify with, but at the time I was so alone. I carried this pain with me every day. I stayed depressed for many years.

Somewhere inside though, my spirit voice was telling me to get up and get moving. (It’s funny that 25 years later my mission is for all women to GET UP AND GET MOVING). However, weighing over 300 pounds I could barely budge, let alone connect the mind and body to become one. My mind was telling me one thing and my body just wouldn’t listen. So, it was easier to stay the way I was and do nothing about my life. But then that day came along that changed my life forever. I’d had enough and was very scared of dying. After listening to the negative voice that kept me down for years, telling me how FAT and HORRIBLE I was and how I would always be a nobody I decided to fight back. I always knew a Guardian Angel was with me and suddenly an encouraging voice started to sound louder and louder until one day I began to listen to it. That’s when I made the decision to get better and take back my life. It did not happen overnight in fact it took many years but since then I have never looked back.

There were plenty of times I wanted to stop or I fell down. But the difference was that now I would get right up and START OVER AGAIN. It didn’t happen overnight. But everyday I did one thing to make myself feel better. The biggest boost for me was to EXERCISE. I started at 300 POUNDS! I didn’t wait to lose weight BEFORE I started to move. What made sense to me was that I should start moving and burning calories and feel better. I had no idea if it would work. But I knew I really couldn’t feel any worse, so I gave it a try. Within a week, I began to feel better and this drove me to want to make a lifestyle change. Was it that easy? Of course not. I had to work harder than I ever dreamed possible. But 25 years later, I look and feel better than I ever did in my life. I never imagined how great I could FEEL from those small steps that I took and keep taking every day. I can totally understand and identify with women who feel depressed. I went through those feelings for years. You are not alone. Take one day a time and keeping pushing forward and when you fall, get up and take those steps you need to move forward.

Debra